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国外也有段子手:争冠与让四的传说!

西江月-song 2019-04-29 19:00:44

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷,利物浦和曼城的英超冠军之争愈演愈烈,而争四军团却纷纷谦让起来。西甲赛场,巴萨豪取11年来第8冠,皇马则意外输球。与此同时,德甲赛场也上演了火爆的鲁尔区德比。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

一分都不能少!曼城连胜曼联伯恩利

J0HNNY_MARR(曼联球迷):德赫亚就是利物浦球迷最可怕的梦魇!(De gea is Liverpool’s worst nightmare lol.)

Jonwinslo(曼联球迷):德赫亚一定是所有人里最恨利物浦的了…(De Gea hates Liverpool more than anyone else.)

poisonedwater69(利物浦球迷):我只好伤心地来几发直到昏厥了…(I'm gonna go sadly beat my meat until I pass out.)

Etudii(未知主队球迷):你永远不会独自打飞机。(You'll never wank alone.)

EK—O(利物浦球迷):索尔斯克亚能不能在赛前至少搜一下“如何像穆里尼奥一样龟缩防守0-0?”(Couldn't Solskjaer at least have googled "How to shit out an ugly 0-0 draw like Mourinho" before this.)

unforgiven1909(曼联球迷):如果在第85分钟还是平局的话,按照计划,阿什利-扬就会故意自摆乌龙!(If it's still a draw at the 85th min Young is obligated by law to hoof it into his own net.)

Holy_Wut_Plane(未知主队球迷):有了曼城的存在,曼彻斯特如何能联合起来?(How can Manchester be united when City exists?)

a5555tha(利物浦球迷):弗爵爷还是不要来看曼联比赛了,您可承担不起再发心脏病了啊!(Alex Fergusson should stop watching this United team play. Can't afford another heart surgery.)

MuchAire(安娜堡球迷):本场比赛的最佳总结,就是博格巴竟然争不过斯特林的头球...(Pogba losing a header to Raheem Sterling pretty much sums up the game for United.)

CitrusRabborts(埃弗顿球迷):呵呵,才赢曼联2-0而已。(Imagine only beating United 2-0)

Bekkvann(桑德兰球迷):伯恩利踢得不错了,逼得曼城踢得就像伯恩利一样了…(Fair play to Burnley, they made Manchester City look like Burnley.)

Mr_Lich12(曼城球迷):曼城只是在示范什么才是真正的浪费时间和摆大巴!(City showing them what time wasting and parking the bus like.)

全力争冠,利物浦5-0哈镇

danmalek466(未知主队球迷):现在这节骨眼,不如让曼城和利物浦直接踢一场来决定冠军归属好了!(At this point, I think City and Liverpool should just play each other for the title.)

ajn789(利物浦球迷):哈镇确实不至于输5个球的,应该至少输10个啊!(Huddersfield got it wrong with 5 at the back, should've had 10.)

Nonachalantly(未知主队球迷):马内已经进了20个球了!其中有27个是头球。(Mane has scored 20 goals, but, somehow, 27 of them were headers.)

ajn789(利物浦球迷):哈镇踢得也太烂了,就算把米尼奥莱放在中锋位置,说不定也能进个球!(Huddersfield are so bad that you could put Simon Mignolet on as center forward and he would probably score.)

M3do_0(阿森纳球迷):好了,起码知道了我们还是比哈镇好那么一丢丢的…(At least we know for a fact that we are better than Huddersfield.)

争四关键战,曼联1-1切尔西

Vadapaav(利物浦球迷):这比赛的评论区就是曼联球迷和切尔西球迷狂黑自家球员的大型现场。(This thread is just United and Chelsea flairs hurling insults at their own players for being shit.)

yolo_toure(未知主队球迷):对其他球迷来说,这场比赛可以当成喜剧来看了…(This match is pure comedy if you support other teams.)

Redhoodguy(切尔西球迷):聊点别的吧,你们觉得明天谁会死在临冬城啊?(Well, so who do you guys think will die tomorrow at Winterfell?)

Eljustoo(未知主队球迷):伊瓜因。(higuain.)

Jonnehbravo(切尔西球迷):我奶奶都比伊瓜因快多了!(my nan's quicker than higuain.)

rav1patel(阿森纳球迷):现在德赫亚每踢一场比赛就会掉价1000万…(De Gea losing 10m value every game.)

Adz02(西汉姆联球迷):NBC直播的评论员工资应该很高吧,毕竟守着这翔一样的比赛解说了这么久…(I think these NBC commentators must be paid well with the amount of shite they're talking.)

ElliotDX(曼城球迷):哈哈,前切尔西球员卢卡库把球传给儿车梦球员卢克-肖,前切尔西球员马塔又接到卢克-肖的传球完成了射门得分!(Former Chelsea man Lukaku plays great ball to boyhood Chelsea fan Shaw who assists former Chelsea man Mata. Lmao.)

EmotionalMillionaire(埃弗顿球迷):卢卡库这表现就像一头在冰上的长颈鹿一样…(Lukaku does shit like this and game plays like a giraffe on ice.)

emre23(利物浦球迷):已经等不及看曼联和切尔西同时输球了!(Can't wait to see how Man Utd & Chelsea manage to both lose.)

GigglesTheShpee(阿森纳球迷):欧联杯也不错啊,你可以了解到好多以前没听说过的国家和文化哦!(Europa league is fun, you get to know the lesser known countries and their culture.)

尴尬连败,阿森纳0-3莱斯特城、1-3狼队

merrykieran2(未知主队球迷):阿森纳这是竭尽全力在摆脱争四狂魔的老梗啊!(Arsenal trying anything possible to escape the 4th meme.)

jl45(未知主队球迷):可是我听说狼队只有在踢强队的时候才表现得好啊!(But I was told wolves only play well against decent teams.)


subhaan2703(切尔西球迷):我觉得应该把第四的位置让给狼队,反正大家谁也不想要它了。(I think we should just donate the 4th spot to Wolves at this point. Seems like no one else wants it.)

imtomyyy(阿森纳球迷):我们能撤回到2006年欧冠决赛前重新开始么?(can we restart before UCL 2006 final?)

CocoaDaddy(阿森纳球迷):有谁能推荐些别的运动看看吗?(Can anyone recommend any other sports to watch.)

ThinkSmallOrBig(阿森纳球迷):女足啊,我厂女足还是很厉害的!(Women's football, we're actually good.)

BlueHarrier(切尔西球迷):哈哈,我车女足也不差!(Chelsea are the same haha.)

just_another_jabroni(曼联球迷):我们曼联也是…(Same for us here.)

Magnific3nt(阿森纳球迷):我想去商店买几个瓶子,结果店里都没有了,好在阿森纳在球场上还有11个瓶子。(I was going to the shops to buy some bottles but it looked empty, thankfully Arsenal were there to restock 11.)

zak33d(未知主队球迷):“打死不进前四”的比赛还在继续!(The fight for not being in the top 4 continues.)

11年8冠!巴萨1-0莱万特捧得西甲

Neandertales(未知主队球迷):梅西在庆祝时都不想浪费体力呢!(Messi is not wasting a lot of energy in the celebrations lol.)

callmesein(未知主队球迷):多亏了世界第5球员的的帮忙啊!(Thanks to the 5th best player in the world.)

TheMexicanJuan(巴萨球迷):不管问题是什么,梅西都是标准答案。(He is always the solution, looking for a question.)

DisastrousPianist(热刺球迷):(巴萨庆祝时)怎么没有嗨爆夏奇拉呀!(Can’t believe they didn’t blast Shakira.)

steide56(利物浦球迷):我猜晚上皮克就要嗨爆夏奇拉了( ?° ?? ?°) (I guess pique is blasting shakira tonight ( ?° ?? ?°)

客场输球,皇马0-1巴列卡诺

Count_Blackula1(利物浦球迷):感觉皇马每场都踢得很烂都在丢分,然后我就去查查积分榜,结果每次他们都还能排第三...(Feels like every time Real Madrid play they drop points and yet I checked the La Liga table and they're 3rd somehow.)

Mick4Audi(热刺球迷):还以为你在说我刺呢…(Thought you meant us.)

激烈德比,多特蒙德2-4沙尔克04

CruschSenpa(沙尔克04球迷):老铁们,我要射日了!(My dick is tickling the sun, mah dude.)

SetzeC4Ein(未知主队球迷):就像是我在玩FIFA的时候故意去得更多的红牌一样…(Looks just like me in fifa when I try to get as many red cards as possible lmao.)

Peetusgreens(塞尔维亚球迷):罗伊斯:“让我来给争冠添加一些戏剧性吧!”沃尔夫:“干杯老铁!”(Reus: I'll add some drama to the title race. Wolf: Hold my beer.)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

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