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国外也有段子手:今日有八级梅吹风!

西江月-song 2019-05-02 19:00:29

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”欧冠特辑!两场欧冠半决赛精彩看点层出不穷,阿贾克斯凭借范德贝克的进球客场战胜热刺,而巴萨则在主场大胜利物浦,梅西和苏亚雷斯均上演精彩发挥。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

梅西梅开苏神进球,巴萨3-0利物浦

Veryoriginaleh(皇马球迷):这真是我看过的最不像3-0的3-0了…(This is the least 3-0 3-0 game I have seen.)

Gountainy1(未知主队球迷):比踢皇马那场3-0还不像吗?(Even less than that 3-0 against Real Madrid?)

TheLittleCam(AC米兰球迷):地球人都知道3-0是最危险的领先啊,巴萨下一场危险了!(As we all know, 3 nil is the most dangerous lead. Barca need to be careful next leg. )

Embedednudes(罗马球迷):利物浦肯定完蛋了!那得什么球队才能翻盘巴萨3个球的领先啊?(Liverpool is already dead. What kind of team could make Barcelona blow up a 3 goals’ lead?)

Carnivalbuster(AC米兰球迷):球场上这么多鸟是怎么回事?(This fucking bird lmfao.)

MustardQuenelle(阿森纳球迷):可能是布兰想找一个观看比赛的最好位置吧!(Bran just wants the best view of the match.)

Losblancoscentral(皇马球迷):这绝对是梅西这赛季最牛逼的任意球了,就算是上帝也扑不出来啊!(That was surely the best freekick of the season from Messi. No words, even God couldn’t save that.)

HarshAgarwal(未知主队球迷):梅西为什么要去扑自己的任意球啊?(Why would Messi try to save his own freekick?

Jacamacho(贝蒂斯球迷):巴尔韦德排出了经典的7-0-3阵型!梅西要回到本方半场拿球过掉47个球员然后创造得分良机!(Valverde with the classic 7-0-3 where Messi has to go to his ownside, pick the ball, dribble 47 players and create a chance.)

Johnnyseattle(利物浦球迷):我的天,比达尔这是长了3个肺吗?这货根本就停不下来!(Holy cow, does Vidal have three lungs? That dude never stops.)

OverTheCovers(加拿大球迷):范戴克看起来根本就不想靠近梅西…(Van Dijk looks like he doesnt want to get too close to Messi.)

Dieze(法国球迷):今天利物浦的最佳球员是登贝莱吧!(Dembelé was the best Liverpool player.)

BobsTea(利物浦球迷):如果有人要找我,请抬头看看房梁上的上吊绳。(If anyone is looking for me I'll be hanging from the rafters.)


jerrie86(曼城球迷):梅西并不想1对1过人,他都是1对5或6…(Messi doesnt want to do 1v 1. Just the casual 1vs 5 or 6.)

Sabu113(曼联球迷):梅西这表现就是在踢简单模式的电脑一样…(Messi is like watching a player character against easy AI.)

erldn123(未知主队球迷):为了让苏亚雷斯不越位,范戴克好像在场上打起盹来了…(VVD caught napping there to keep Suarez onside tbh.)

Jamiejizzle(诺维奇球迷):哈哈,被苏亚雷斯打进神仙球的滋味不好受吧!(Doesn't feel good having Suarez score amazing goals against you huh.)

(注:苏亚雷斯效力利物浦期间曾多次面对诺维奇打入神仙球)

ColdPinq(巴萨球迷):我的天,比达尔那传球简直让我性高潮…(oh my god Vidal that pass was orgasmic.)

CUImego(未知主队球迷):梅西踢进任意球的时候,巴萨球迷在流眼泪,而克洛普在微笑…(barcelona fans burst into tears while Klopp was smile when Messi scored that free kick.)

fingers-crossed(贝蒂斯球迷):梅西的任意球,比睡觉前妈妈的亲吻还要甜蜜…(Messi’s free kick is sweeter than a mother's kiss at bedtime.)

SexyMooli(巴基斯坦球迷):范戴克好幸运啊,能够这么近距离地观看梅西踢球!(Van Dijk is incredibly lucky to get to watch Messi play up close like that.)

Zetche(热刺球迷):范戴克在那里呆呆地看着球,就像是被汽车大灯照到的小鹿一样…(Van Dijk is looking at the ball like a deer in headlights.)

Jackalope117(热刺球迷):我们还费尽心力想逆转阿贾克斯,这有啥意义呢,最后这个月不还是得被梅西摁着摩擦?(What’s the point in us trying to beat Ajax when we’ll just get reamed by Messi and co in a month.)

MinhazMessi(巴萨球迷):虽然梅西不在英超踢球,但他已经是这赛季面对英超前六进球最多的球员了…(Messi now has the most goals against the top 6 clubs in Premier League this season and he doesn't even play there.)

-northlondonisred(未知主队球迷):终于明白英超谁也不想当第四的原因了…(No wonder nobody wants top 4 now...)

Neo_corner(热刺球迷):登贝莱最后已经很努力地在欢乐了…(Dembele was trolling so hard in the end...)

rpowell19(巴萨球迷):米尔纳必进球被扑以及萨拉赫门柱带来的遗憾,都被登贝莱上场4分钟就给弥补回来了…(Liverpool should have scored twice: Milner bottling and Salah hitting the post, but Dembele made up for that in his 4 minutes.)

RubberDuckRub(未知主队球迷):萨拉赫离球门1米的空门都踢不进,而梅西却进了30米外的任意球…(Salah misses from 1 meter while Messi scores from 30.)

_urMumM8_(未知主队球迷):我们大多数人恐怕这辈子都不会再看到一个像这样超神的球员了...(Most of us won’t see another player of this kind of godlike ability in our lifetimes.)

skrillcosby_(法兰克福球迷):梅西看登贝莱的表情就像是说:“伊瓜因啥时候来这儿啦?”(Messi's reaction is spot on Dembele. "When did Higuaín get that tan?")

wiserten(未知主队球迷):登贝莱这射门,就像是你女朋友在踢FIFA一样…(When your girlfriend tries to play FIFA.)

ChainBastard(未知主队球迷):要是库蒂尼奥踢出登贝莱那种球,还不得被活埋了…(Coutinho would be buried alive for this.)

Anonaccount213(未知主队球迷):库鸟肯定会先慢下进攻节奏,触几次球然后再传给边上的中场…(Coutinho would slow down the attack, take a couple touches and then sidepass to a midfielder.)

范德贝克进球,阿贾克斯1-0热刺

Zetche(热刺球迷):同为19岁的我看着德利赫特踢球,我已经怀疑自己这辈子啥也干不成了…(As a 19-year old seeing De Ligt really makes me insecure about everything in my own life ever.) 

Sidaeinjae(韩国球迷):热刺这阵容,是把这比赛当成踢西汉姆联了么…(Spurs lineup looks like they're going against West Ham or something.)

WonkDog(纽卡斯尔球迷):忽然想起来,2016年我们卖了西索科和维纳尔杜姆,而现在他俩都去踢欧冠半决赛了…(Just realised we sold Sissoko and Wijnaldum in 2016 and they’re both in CL semi finals...) 

Maaaf(未知主队球迷):有趣的是,阿贾克斯今年的欧冠收入比他们的年度总预算还要多呢!(Fun fact: Ajax's CL earnings are bigger than their entire annual budget.)

Qurutin(未知主队球迷):有趣的是,切尔西今年的欧冠收入竟然连我的年度预算都比不上呢!(Fun fact: My annual budget is bigger than CL earnings of Chelsea this year.) 

AboveAverag3(未知主队球迷):阿贾克斯就像是FIFA游戏里传奇球队的难度一样…(Ajax are like a FIFA team on world class difficulty.)

AsshatVik(热刺球迷):热刺没有了凯恩和孙兴慜,就像没有弹药的大炮一样…(Spurs without Kane and Son is like an artillery piece with no ammo.)

(图):最后,让我们祝愿圣卡西早日康复!

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

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